Some of us are dying of 'exposure'

This morning I was offered an amazing opportunity. A well-known, very profitable magazine, which makes millions of pounds each year for its seriously wealthy owner, offered to publish my original work on its web site. For nothing.

‘Wait,’ I puzzled. ‘What do you mean ‘for nothing’?  I'm not an advertiser. I'm a writer. I don’t pay to have my work published – people pay me to write it.’

Turns out they weren't confused. They were asking me to write for them for no wage.

I pointed out that I am not a teenage intern looking for ‘exposure’. I am forty-something years old and have been a journalist since I was twenty something. I have written for magazines, national newspapers and global companies. I've written books, proof read for legal companies and edited breaking news for broadcast interviews.

They already knew. They’d heard of me. That’s why they called. Because they have gazillions of readers and so us ‘working together’ would be mutually beneficial.

Like so many of my equally professional, talented and experienced colleagues, I'm constantly asked by friends to ‘just glance over this’ for nothing. I have friends who are doctors, yoga teachers and project managers who have decided to ‘do a bit of PR’ and ask me to check over the (shocking) press release they've written. I am asked to ‘fiddle with’ restaurant menus, corporate brochures and publicity leaflets by people who are setting up a new little business. If I had a penny for every time a mum at school said to me, ‘I've decided to do a bit of PR for my friend who’s just started making cup-cakes / bought a dancing school / become a florist – can you check it over for me?’ I would actually be able to retire to my villa in Tuscany and write the novel I've never got time to squeeze in because no one is paying me to do it.

I recently did some work for a very old acquaintance because they were in dire straits. I halved my rate for them (I know, I know). When the invoice was three months overdue, I managed to get through on the phone. ‘We can’t afford to pay you,’ they said, without a hint of regret. ‘You’ll just have to wait.’

'No problem', I said. 'I'm sure the mortgage company will be happy to hang on a bit'.

Imagine going to your hairdresser and saying, ‘I’d like you to cut my hair for free. You can make me look gorgeous and I will go and walk the streets and tell everyone and the exposure will be great for your business.’

Or asking a painter and decorator to come and smarten up your house for nothing, promising that every time someone comes to visit you’ll tell them who gave it the wow factor.

There are a few other professions where I know this happens. We all know that guy who has decided he’s a photographer because the local rag printed his sunset.  Graphic designers tell of mates who design their own logos and then need them tweaked; in Word.  A friend who’s a highly-qualified landscape architect with years of experience was recently asked if he’d very much mind arriving early for a lunchtime barbecue so he could cut the grass first.

So my plea today is this: pay us like you pay the supermarket, the vet, the mechanic. Pay us when we ask you to, not months later. Pay us in cash, by transfer, by cheque or to our offshore account (I wish).

Now I'm off to the local for dinner. I'm hoping their payment terms are 28 days, by which time it's possible I might have some money.