Last week, in the name of hard manual labour, I found myself lying on a massage couch covered from head to foot in sea salt, melted chocolate and finally gold, thank you very much.
I had been asked to cast my eye over a new five-star hotel – the Iberostar Odysseus – on the Greek island of Kos. (I know, dirty work, but I do it for you, dear punter, so you don’t end up in crap places).
This latest baby in the global Iberostar chain is properly on the beach - not in the way that lots of hotels say they are on the beach, when what they mean is they’re on the wrong side of a thirteen lane highway that runs parallel to the coast.
I remember staying at one of those once. As the crow flew it was indeed about 100yards from the nearest beach. Unfortunately to reach the sea (ferry port), you had to walk four hundred yards west to catch a bus which then headed three miles east along the dual carriageway, up to a bridge over the highway, round a roundabout, back down the other side and go west again where the bus stopped, 50 yards from the hotel. The bus stopped twelve times and took half an hour. And only ran twice a day, so if you missed it in the morning you couldn’t go to the beach until after lunch. In those days we drank too much Tequila and stayed up till stupid o clock so we always missed the morning bus.
Hallelujah, the Odysseus was where it was supposed to be. Here my room was 50yards from the waves. I walked through glass doors to my personal deck and down my personal steps to my personal plunge pool, where there was nothing to see except palm trees, sun loungers on lawns, the ocean – oh, and Turkey.
The Odysseus is about 3.5 miles from the Turkish mainland. In August, the Greeks swim there and the Turks swim back. It’s a friendly race and the same 16-year-old girl has won for the last three years. She’s Greek, as the Greeks are quick to point out. (The Greeks and the Turks are friends now, they tell me, but ‘we shake hands rather than hug’).
Despite its infancy, the Odysseus pretty much sold out its 267 rooms in July and August and straight away you can see why. Fantastic kids club for family jaunts and full conference facilities for business folk and thanks to a wide, open, single-level layout, an atmosphere of calm for both.
And the most stunning (and certainly the longest) beach front pool I’ve ever had the joy to swim in. I ploughed its 190m length – nearly twice that of an Olympic pool - before breakfast (name a food stuff, you could have it - cheeses, meats, fruits, pastries, full English and a mountain of oranges ready for squeezing) as the waves broke to my left and the sun shone over the hills above Bodrum.
In the evening, it was also the perfect spot to lounge with a Greek mojito (made with Metaxa) from the little beach bar and watch the sunset over the Greek island of Pserimos, population 23. (Our captain told us of another island we could visit nearby with a population of only two. An Italian lady and her Greek husband. Well, ex-husband actually. So, in fact, population, one. The government had given them land and farming rights and paid them to stay there on their own little island. Sounds like paradise but in the end you’d have to get on really, really well, wouldn’t you?)
If you’re not shackled to the dreaded school holidays, skip high season and go in May, June, September or early October. The weather is warm enough to sunbathe, sit outside all evening, and dive off boats between islands for a swim with the dolphins. You don’t have to book restaurants and child care eight years in advance and it's cheaper. The Odysseus has three adult pools (one indoor) and two children’s and there was never anyone else in the pool with us.
If you venture away from the hotel (sounds mad, but it’s kind of tempting to stay put!) you can actually stroll down the beautiful old cobbled streets of Kos town without feeling like you’re battling the tube at rush hour in a heat which in August often reaches 40°. You can properly explore the ancient castles, markets and harbours without getting fourteen Germans, a Saga coach trip and most of the British school population in your photo.
Of course, with hotels like the Odysseus, you’d be forgiven for plonking your bags and staying in. From the minute you enter the stylish lobby, you can’t help but relax.
Especially at the Spa. Now I’m not an expert on these things, but the Aphrodite Spa did make me feel like a bit of a goddess. First of all I was scrubbed from shoulders to toes with Aegean sea salt and almond oil until I was raw as a monkey's bottom and then ushered into a shower to rinse it all off, which stung. Back on the couch I was smothered from head to toe, back and front, in a melted chocolate concoction and then wrapped in crisp, white sheets, covered in towels and left to cook for fifteen minutes. I fell asleep worrying about how the hell they were going to get the sheets crisp and white again. When I woke they sent me back to the shower again to wash off the chocolate. Guiltily I asked the young Greek girl how they would clean the sheets in this island where it hasn’t rained since February and all the olive trees were dying. She smiled and said, ‘yes’. (If you're looking for a natter in English this isn't the place, but for my money, the more charming for it). Finally I was massaged with a local lemon oil infused with real gold ‘to make you shimmy’. I did glow as I left but, as I was staggering like a drunkard rather than dancing sexily, I think they meant shimmer. My skin felt amazing - last time it was this soft I was having my nappy changed.
After my tough day of lying down I was famished. There are three restaurants – a beach tavern, a la carte Grill and buffet. I selected a cold salad of stuffed courgettes and vines, olives, and calimari, and thought it would be rude to turn down the excellent local wine. Next to me a family was tucking in to home-made fish fingers, chicken and noodles.
Somehow, the Odysseus pulls off that tricky feat of being all things to all people. It ran a full programme of activities, without destroying its atmosphere of peace and quiet. Daily volleyball matches ran alongside corporate days, rental bikes zoomed past business men arriving in black cars. Children built sandcastles while below them companies occupied the conference suites. Nothing was too much trouble and everyone was happy.
Next October they’re running a Greece v Turkey windsurfing race. Fear not, I will selflessly return to check it all out for you....
Details:
Iberostar Odysseus, Tigaki, Kos
Tel: 0030 22420 49900
Email: odysseus.hotel@iberostar.com.gr
Garden rooms: 14th May 2011 from £718, two people sharing, half board.
I had been asked to cast my eye over a new five-star hotel – the Iberostar Odysseus – on the Greek island of Kos. (I know, dirty work, but I do it for you, dear punter, so you don’t end up in crap places).
This latest baby in the global Iberostar chain is properly on the beach - not in the way that lots of hotels say they are on the beach, when what they mean is they’re on the wrong side of a thirteen lane highway that runs parallel to the coast.
I remember staying at one of those once. As the crow flew it was indeed about 100yards from the nearest beach. Unfortunately to reach the sea (ferry port), you had to walk four hundred yards west to catch a bus which then headed three miles east along the dual carriageway, up to a bridge over the highway, round a roundabout, back down the other side and go west again where the bus stopped, 50 yards from the hotel. The bus stopped twelve times and took half an hour. And only ran twice a day, so if you missed it in the morning you couldn’t go to the beach until after lunch. In those days we drank too much Tequila and stayed up till stupid o clock so we always missed the morning bus.
Hallelujah, the Odysseus was where it was supposed to be. Here my room was 50yards from the waves. I walked through glass doors to my personal deck and down my personal steps to my personal plunge pool, where there was nothing to see except palm trees, sun loungers on lawns, the ocean – oh, and Turkey.
The Odysseus is about 3.5 miles from the Turkish mainland. In August, the Greeks swim there and the Turks swim back. It’s a friendly race and the same 16-year-old girl has won for the last three years. She’s Greek, as the Greeks are quick to point out. (The Greeks and the Turks are friends now, they tell me, but ‘we shake hands rather than hug’).
In the evening, it was also the perfect spot to lounge with a Greek mojito (made with Metaxa) from the little beach bar and watch the sunset over the Greek island of Pserimos, population 23. (Our captain told us of another island we could visit nearby with a population of only two. An Italian lady and her Greek husband. Well, ex-husband actually. So, in fact, population, one. The government had given them land and farming rights and paid them to stay there on their own little island. Sounds like paradise but in the end you’d have to get on really, really well, wouldn’t you?) If you’re not shackled to the dreaded school holidays, skip high season and go in May, June, September or early October. The weather is warm enough to sunbathe, sit outside all evening, and dive off boats between islands for a swim with the dolphins. You don’t have to book restaurants and child care eight years in advance and it's cheaper. The Odysseus has three adult pools (one indoor) and two children’s and there was never anyone else in the pool with us.
If you venture away from the hotel (sounds mad, but it’s kind of tempting to stay put!) you can actually stroll down the beautiful old cobbled streets of Kos town without feeling like you’re battling the tube at rush hour in a heat which in August often reaches 40°. You can properly explore the ancient castles, markets and harbours without getting fourteen Germans, a Saga coach trip and most of the British school population in your photo. Of course, with hotels like the Odysseus, you’d be forgiven for plonking your bags and staying in. From the minute you enter the stylish lobby, you can’t help but relax.
Especially at the Spa. Now I’m not an expert on these things, but the Aphrodite Spa did make me feel like a bit of a goddess. First of all I was scrubbed from shoulders to toes with Aegean sea salt and almond oil until I was raw as a monkey's bottom and then ushered into a shower to rinse it all off, which stung. Back on the couch I was smothered from head to toe, back and front, in a melted chocolate concoction and then wrapped in crisp, white sheets, covered in towels and left to cook for fifteen minutes. I fell asleep worrying about how the hell they were going to get the sheets crisp and white again. When I woke they sent me back to the shower again to wash off the chocolate. Guiltily I asked the young Greek girl how they would clean the sheets in this island where it hasn’t rained since February and all the olive trees were dying. She smiled and said, ‘yes’. (If you're looking for a natter in English this isn't the place, but for my money, the more charming for it). Finally I was massaged with a local lemon oil infused with real gold ‘to make you shimmy’. I did glow as I left but, as I was staggering like a drunkard rather than dancing sexily, I think they meant shimmer. My skin felt amazing - last time it was this soft I was having my nappy changed.
After my tough day of lying down I was famished. There are three restaurants – a beach tavern, a la carte Grill and buffet. I selected a cold salad of stuffed courgettes and vines, olives, and calimari, and thought it would be rude to turn down the excellent local wine. Next to me a family was tucking in to home-made fish fingers, chicken and noodles.
Somehow, the Odysseus pulls off that tricky feat of being all things to all people. It ran a full programme of activities, without destroying its atmosphere of peace and quiet. Daily volleyball matches ran alongside corporate days, rental bikes zoomed past business men arriving in black cars. Children built sandcastles while below them companies occupied the conference suites. Nothing was too much trouble and everyone was happy.Next October they’re running a Greece v Turkey windsurfing race. Fear not, I will selflessly return to check it all out for you....
Details:
Iberostar Odysseus, Tigaki, Kos
Tel: 0030 22420 49900
Email: odysseus.hotel@iberostar.com.gr
Garden rooms: 14th May 2011 from £718, two people sharing, half board.
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